It has been so long and this is shamefully overdue. The last time we saw each other it was so...terrible. We fought and disagreed about so much. All the same stuff: my shopping problems, you working too much and spending more time with Madonna, Stella and Jimmy than you were with me. We needed a break. I knew it then, and I hope that after our time apart, you know it now.
It actually hasn't been that long since I've seen you. I came by the other day, but you didn't see me. I thought it would help me get over what happened between us if I just ripped off the band-aid and forced myself to see you. It is always unbearable to see your love after a break-up. I was simultaneously thrilled and gutted to see all that you have been up to since our separation: the awesome military jacket with the purple and orange print top, the brilliant flowy cardi you did perfectly in black, grey and taupe (I must confess, I fantasized about buying one of each), the blue and white peasant style blouse, the leather trim canvas weekender, the brilliant organic T's... But when I got to the black Andy Warhol's Marilyn tunic, I started to feel nauseaus. Did you come up with that right after we parted ways? Just to hurt me? You know I have been intrigued by her since I was a girl. Did you make that just for me?
As I was walking home, I began to think about you and me. Things may have gotten out of control, but what we had was good. It was solid. I have learned so much since we were last together. About myself, about you, about why I loved (and still do love) you... I was so reckless in the old days. I didn't think, I just acted without fear of consequence. At the time, it felt liberating, freeing and rebellious. I have yet to figure out if that feeling was worth a year of Fashion Rehab. But I feel like I am starting to get a handle on what went wrong and why. I was so very young when we first met...
When the day comes that we do see each other again, I hope we can meet anew. As two friends who have changed, grown and hopefully, in my case, grown up.
In the best possible way.