Okay, to be fair (and accurate), it is many mornings after - 24 to be exact. 24 days and just one week shy of a month since I was sprung from the Fashion Rehab that A and I built. The thing is, I have not been myself since we completed what most people said in the beginning was the impossible. I have been feeling odd, that's for sure. The hard part has been trying to put my finger on what has been bothering me. And then to attempt to get to the bottom of the always important why. It crept up suddenly, this unsettling feeling, though looking back, I can see it coming that first morning... when I stood outside the uber-marvy Empire Hotel and put A in a cab bound for JFK. We had the most fantastic time so it didn't seem in any way strange that I would be sad that the weekend (and the celebration) was over. And I am always sad saying good-bye to my BFF - who isn't?
A slew of happenings, well, happened after that, rolling through my life like a freight train carrying containers of different shapes, sizes and emotional obligations... I went to The Mater's straight outta Penn station, flew home to TO, which was almost immediately followed by a visit from my Pa who dropped in the day after I came back. The end of his visit coincidentally coincided with Mr. Darling's birthday, which we got to celebrate all together - my Pa, his mum, her husband and some of the loveliest family friends this side of the Atlantic (even if a couple of them hail from across the pond). But I digress...
Today - my first day "off" in quite awhile, I woke up and knew somewhere in my muddled mind that today would be the day I would try to solve this mystery. I talked A, I talked to Mr. Darling, I talked to myself. And I am happy to report that I have the answer, though the answer itself is not a happy one: I am in mourning. I am mourning the loss/end of The Year We Didn't Shop. Do I wish I was still in shopping purgatory, lusting after things only to watch them sell out? No! Have I stayed "on the wagon", shopping faithfully, fideliously only in my closet? We all know the answer to that. It has been caught on video! And do I miss the days of scraping lipstick out of a long finished, cracked, sad tube with an overdue lip brush? Hell no! (I know that last one was kinda gross, but this was Fashion Rehab!) What I do miss is the countdown, the purpose, the sheer challenge of it all.
I am a Taurus, so perhaps it's no surprise that I would find this time of transition tough.
I very much look forward to the future. And yet, I have been catching myself glancing back into the past.
Love, P
P.S. Photo credit for this post goes to Rick O'Brien
5 comments:
It must indeed be hard to find your focus again after a year with such an amazing challenge! But you'll get there, just like you survived a year without shopping. Cheer up, you can do it!
Your feelings are understandable. Give yourself time to settle into and get excited about 'The Year We Did Shop' and I'm sure you'll have the same anticipation and excitment about your new undertaking.
I truly cannot believe that you survived a year without shopping. Let's put it this way...if you were able to survive and overcome that, you can face anything! :)
Love the pic, rehab sister! Wish I was there to hang with you and commiserate in person instead of Skype. Who knew that the new purchases wouldn't automatically make life fabulous? (I guess we sort of did- hence doing the project to begin with!). See you soon! Love, A
I see wht you are saying. So focused great!
Keep in touch
xx
Sahi
www.barelyvogue.com
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